It’s never too late to claim a new life. It’s never too late for real love.
Flowers and chocolates, broken dreams.
Romance and kisses, silent screams.
Loving futures, years gone by.
Tears of joy, want to cry.
Brightest of morning, darkest of night.
Pureness of love, terror and fright.
Trust in the newness, worn by the old.
Feeling the warmth, frozen from cold.
We once believed, in all of our dreams.
That we could trust love, that words were not mean.
You showed us different, now different we are.
Survivors are strong – the strongest by far.
We don’t want words that cut like a knife.
We need one gift, a true and free life.
In Recognition of the Love We Lost, by Susan Sparks
In Honor of Valentine’s Day and a New Day for All of Us…
A Universal Truth About Love
Having lived with real love and having lived with abusive love, I have learned that there is a stark difference between the two. One is pure and strong and never dies. The other is toxic and corrosive and disguises itself as love, but is truly an impostor used to trick us. There is something born out of this notion that we all need to agree upon: love does not fail us, people do.
And not all people fail us. Someone did. Someone upon whom we once pinned all of our hopes and dreams, someone with whom we once saw our future unfolding, someone that we once thought we would spend the rest of our days with, failed us. That hurts. It cuts deep and it wounds us.
After this happens we are inclined not to trust love. Why would we want to? We once did and look what happened. The problem is that we put a lot of blame on love, and love really isn’t the culprit here. On this day of love, Valentine’s Day, it‘s a great time to remember what love is and what it can be.
Love is kind, it does not abuse. Love is generous, it does not withhold. Love is joyful, it is not scary. Love is freedom, it is not control. Love is a light that colors our lives, it is not a darkness that we keep within.
As Lord Byron so beautifully wrote:
…And on that cheek, and o’er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!
When we are ready to approach love again it is important to remember that love did not fail us. If we truly believe that then we will never again step out there as complete beings. We will only stick a toe in the water and think it is burning hot. We will believe it hurts, but not really feel anything. It is our job to learn from our experiences. It is our job to become stronger from them. Then, it is our job, when we are ready, to approach love again with an open mind and an open heart.
I know from experience how difficult this is, and I still work at it every day. I have learned that love is an equal balance of feelings shared between two people: one does not always win, one does not always rule, and one does not always control. As SODA®s we once lived a life where we questioned love. But what we really needed to do was question the one who was telling us that they loved us. On Valentine’s Day and always, I wish you real love, peace, and joy. But more than anything, I wish you a happy and free life.
Home Should be a Safe Place for Everyone™
If you are a victim of domestic abuse or domestic violence or want further information PLEASE visit www.TheSoda-Pop.com or call or visit THE NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE at: 1-800-799-7233 for more information, help, and to make a plan for your safety.
Susan is a twenty year victim and six year Survivor Of Domestic Abuse (SODA®). Her reporting has been seen on national network news and her writing has been featured on national media. She has also studied and worked in the field of divorce. As Susan Sparks she is an Expert on YourTango.com and has been featured on The National Domestic Violence Hotline (thehotline.org) and other popular online sites such as Medium and Hollywood Life. She has written a book about her experiences with domestic abuse, Sparks in Love, which she hopes will serve as both an educational and cautionary tale to everyone who reads it. She is the Principal of four enterprises, and one charity, all dedicated to helping people avoid, understand, and prevent domestic abuse. Susan is currently working on three other books to further the cause and hopes to bring Sparks in Love to television in 2019.
Follow Susan at: www.thesoda-pop.com, FACEBOOK, Twitter, YouTube
What an amazing perspective! I want to frame the saying ‘Love does not fail us, people do.’ My heart breaks for all of the Victims out there, but these words give me hope for them and anyone in a difficult relationship. Your words are so universal – they can be applied to any relationship – child/parent, sibling/sibling, friend/friend, etc – they give me hope for all of us
Thank you so much for that lovely comment. I am sorry for the delay in response. I just learned that an app was hiding my comments. I do hope that you will see this and know that I loved having your feedback, and that it meant a lot to me. Thank you so much! -Susan